IN FRATERNAM MEAM

IN FRATERNAM MEAM

Sunday, September 14, 2003

MEA CULPA/MEAL CULPA
(my fault/my most grievous fault)

..... here are some abstracts from the calls that i have received working for a major airline in chicago, via our 800 number complaints line.

..... all abstracted calls are true, i have to change some dates/place n if i mention name, that is not the correct name of the pax.

..... all calls that we get from this 800 lines are all irate pax, n we cannot argue or hang up calls, we have to stay on the line n listen to all the things the Pax is telling us.
and just apologize.

..... don't ask me which major airline in the u.s. i work, cuz i will not tell you. also, don't ask for tkt or companion passes, cuz i will not give you also.

*********************************************

= = = i got a call from this old man who just arrvd from a flt from Burbank, he said" i left my denture inside the plane lavatory, when i have remembered it, and returnewd bak to the lavatory, the denture is no longer there!"

MEA CULPA/MEA CULPA...

PERSONAL SAY KO....from now on Sir, you will be eating oat meal and slurrrrrp all your food.

= = = i got a call, at around 0145hrs central time from an old man in Denver, he said " i checked in a kennel with my dog inside, when i arrived at home, it was a cat!"

MEA CULPA/MEA CULPA...

PERSONAL SAY KO.... its a miracle, you check in a dog and it became a cat.???????

= = = i got a call, from this pinay, whose name is Mrs. R. BATICULING, she was inside the SFO Int'l terminal, she said " i am missing my carry on bag, and i have my special dress there inside, are you a filipino?" so i said "opo, manang" then she said" nandoon inside the carry on bag ang saya ko, may abaloryo pa at burdado, gagamitin ko sa sayaw, i just sat down by the karousel, where the bag is coming out, then it moved and the karry on disappeared!"

MEA CULPA/MEA CULPA....

PERSONAL SAY KO..... next time, MRS BATICULING if you are hand carrying your saya, place the bahay kubo also inside, so it will be hard to get lost.

= = = i got this very angry call from a woman who is calling from Lahuei, Hawaii, she was yelling on the fon and said, " i checked in my bag to you people, ...cursing,cursing n cursing.. then you lost it, i have my birth control pills inside the bag, if i get pregnant it will be your airlines fault!"

MEA CULPA/MEA CULPA.....

PERSONAL SAY KO.....lady, if you dont want to get pregnant, all you have to do is cross your legs until the bag gets delivered to you, or follow what the dentist always say to their patients, "open your mouth -wwwwwwwwide open".

= = =i got a call from an old woman from a flt that originated from Palm Spring n landed in Ontario/Calif, she was angry and she said," the salad that was given to me has crystals on it, if i die, i will sue your airline!"

MEA CULPA/MEA CULPA....

PERSONAL SAY KO.... lady, if we really want to kill you, i will call the remaining alq......da. or next time we will let you use the mouth guard of Hannibal Lecter , "Silence of the Lamb" , when you board our plane and meals are given to you....

= = = i got this call from this man, at first contact he is already going to sue my airline, so he said" i checked in my suitcase and my prosthetic leg is inside, now i cannot walk because TELLURIDE airport cannot locate the bag"!

MEA CULPA/MEA CULPA

PERSONAL SAY KO..... sorry sir, from now on you will not walk, i will send you from pinas, andador made of rattan, or if you want, i will get a job for you at Walt Disney, as the notorius Pirate of the High Seas.....

= = = i taught this woman was joking when i got this call, she said " hello, you lost my mother, and i don't know how cud i be able to locate her again", "she was in an Urn and i placed the Urn in my checked in bag"!

MEA CULPA/MEA CULPA

PERSONAL SAY KO..... lady dedma na 'yon derma mo, naiwala mo pa rin, what if she is still alive, what do you thnik will happen when she is with you.....

= = = this call came from a man who went hunting in Juno/Alaska and said" i cannot find my suitcase when i landed in Madison, if you cannot find it immediately, you people will be in biiiiiiig trouble cuz there's lots of venison inside the suitcase.!"

MEA CULPA/MEA CULPA

PERSONAL SAY KO..... well i guess sir, if the suitcas has plenty of meat of USA, when we locate it and dlvr it to you, it will be TAPANG USA.....

= = = this man from Texas called and was very upset, he said" i checked in a bag with a special styrofoam box inside, and inside that styro foam box are six ostrich eggs, iam telling you, your airline will be in big trouble for this if you cannot find my bag with those eggs!"

MEA CULPA/MEA CULPA

PERSONAL SAY KO..... well sir, i guess when we locate the bag, you will have a big BALOT inside waiting for you, ANIM PA!!

= = = this very nervous man called and said to me," i checked in two suitcases, one with my tuxedo, and the other one has my fiances' bridal gown and the brides maid's gown, your airline cannot locate the one with my tuxedo, how will i get married?"

MEA CULPA/MEA CULPA

PERSONAL SAY KO.....well sir, i guess you have to get married in the brides maid's gown, to get it over with.

= = = i got a call from this man who was so belligerant on the fon, he said" i have a hand carried bag, that was taken from me at the door of the aircraft - i dont want to hand it over to the flt attendant cuz this bag is very personal to, i have my forzen sperm inside the carry on bag"!.

MEA CULPA/MEA CULPA

PEROSONAL SAY KO..... well sir, i guess you have to do it again, which playboy magazine issue do you want sir?
february issue is the hottest, don't u think?

= = = a pinoy seaman called, and i had a hard time understanding what he was telling me on the fon, he said" seer, i loose my passpurt in semen book at d tilipun boot at d termeenal two i tenk, i keenot boord d sheep without the semen book n may passpurt."

MEA CULPA/MEA CULPA

PERSONAL SAY KO..... well hijo, i think the best way is to TNT ka na lang. nasa america ka na eh!

THEMOST GRATIFYING CALL I GOT IS THIS:

two months before the death of John Kennedy, i got him on the fon, and he was telling me that my airline lost his garment bag with his tuxedo inside, here's how the conversation went on.....

BLINK K BLINK AIRLINES, THIS IS
so n so, how may i help you...

"Hi (he said myname) my garment bag did not come out of the carousel from my flt and I have my tuxedo inside, i have a fuinction to attend tomorrow evening". so i said " oh I am very sorry Mr.Kennedy, i will do my best to locate your garment bag, if you want also, you can rent any tuxedo you want and get the most expensive one and (my airline) will pay for the rental 100pct",

then he said "it's alright (mentioning my name again) i will just call my office in NY and they cud fedex overnite one for me, thanks for the help"(my name mentioned again).

my mouth fell. this man was soooo polite, very much of a GENTLEMAN and did not even raised his voice on me, never utter an ugly word, never cursed at all and was very very educated and professional on the fon.

i cried when he died. you won't find a NICE PERSON like this anymore.

AND I REALLY MEAN IT, FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART. AND I KNOW WHERE HE IS RIGHT NOW, WITH HIS WIFE.

posted by infraternam meam @ 11:47 PM

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