| Tuesday, April 13, 2004 |
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BOOK OF LAUGHTER:
(abstracts from the works of Leo Rosten's)
Cynic's Dictionary:
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1. Adolescent: a teenager who acts like a baby when you don't treat him like an adult.
2. Artificial Insemination: copulation without representation.
3. Bachelor:one who treats all women as sequels.
4. Courtesy:acceptable hypocrisy.
5. Eccentric: a man too rich to be called crazy.
6. Egotist:one who is more interested in himself, than in you.
7. Forger:the man who gives a check a bad name.
8. Friendship:an emotion so sweet, steady, loyal and enduring that it last an entire lifetime----unless asked to lend some money.
9. Gossip:the only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.
10. Guilt:one of america's abundant resources.
11. Home:a place where you can scratch anywhere it itch.
12. Hypochondriac:one who enjoys poor health, then complains of feeling better.
13. Hypocrisy:a hypocrite is someone who ---- but who isnt'?
14. Insomia:the inability to sleep, when its time to get up.
15. Kleptomaniac:someone who can't help helping himself.
16. Marriage:marriage makes two one; but you never can tell which one is the one, or mutual partnership, if one remains mute and dumb.
17. Masochist:someone who is only happy when he is miserable.
18. Mummies:egyptian who are pressed up for time.
19. Sadist:someone who positively refuses to beat up a masochist, or some who send get well card to a hypochondriacs.
20. slander:to lie, or to tell the truth about someone.
21. Thief:a man who finds things before you loose them.
22. Yawn:a silent shout.
DEATH:
Cremation: " all men are cremated equal".
Sign in a funeral parlor: " Eventually Yours".
Over entrance to a Morgue : "remains to be seen".
Sign on a funeral Home: " Must you be going?, money refunded if you are not satisfied."
DIETS:
"ENERGY GONE TO WAIST"
"WHEN YOU DIET, PLEASE BE QUIET"
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| posted by infraternam meam @ 1:46 AM |
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| About Me |
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Name: infraternam meam
Home: Chicago, United States
About Me: I am now at the prime of my life
and have been married for the past 25 years.
Sickly at times, but wants to see the elixir vita,
so that I will be able to see my grandchildren from my two boys.
See my complete profile
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