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IN FRATERNAM MEAM
Tuesday, April 13, 2004
BOOK OF LAUGHTER:
(abstracts from the works of Leo Rosten's)

Cynic's Dictionary:
----------------------

1. Adolescent: a teenager who acts like a baby when you don't treat him like an adult.

2. Artificial Insemination: copulation without representation.

3. Bachelor:one who treats all women as sequels.

4. Courtesy:acceptable hypocrisy.

5. Eccentric: a man too rich to be called crazy.

6. Egotist:one who is more interested in himself, than in you.

7. Forger:the man who gives a check a bad name.

8. Friendship:an emotion so sweet, steady, loyal and enduring that it last an entire lifetime----unless asked to lend some money.

9. Gossip:the only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.

10. Guilt:one of america's abundant resources.

11. Home:a place where you can scratch anywhere it itch.

12. Hypochondriac:one who enjoys poor health, then complains of feeling better.

13. Hypocrisy:a hypocrite is someone who ---- but who isnt'?

14. Insomia:the inability to sleep, when its time to get up.

15. Kleptomaniac:someone who can't help helping himself.

16. Marriage:marriage makes two one; but you never can tell which one is the one, or mutual partnership, if one remains mute and dumb.

17. Masochist:someone who is only happy when he is miserable.

18. Mummies:egyptian who are pressed up for time.

19. Sadist:someone who positively refuses to beat up a masochist, or some who send get well card to a hypochondriacs.

20. slander:to lie, or to tell the truth about someone.

21. Thief:a man who finds things before you loose them.

22. Yawn:a silent shout.


DEATH:

Cremation: " all men are cremated equal".

Sign in a funeral parlor: " Eventually Yours".

Over entrance to a Morgue : "remains to be seen".

Sign on a funeral Home: " Must you be going?, money refunded if you are not satisfied."



DIETS:

"ENERGY GONE TO WAIST"

"WHEN YOU DIET, PLEASE BE QUIET"


posted by infraternam meam @ 1:46 AM  
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Name: infraternam meam
Home: Chicago, United States
About Me: I am now at the prime of my life and have been married for the past 25 years. Sickly at times, but wants to see the elixir vita, so that I will be able to see my grandchildren from my two boys.
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