IN FRATERNAM MEAM: LAMENT OF AN ELDER BROTHER

IN FRATERNAM MEAM

Tuesday, June 08, 2004

LAMENT OF AN ELDER BROTHER

MY YOUNGER BROTHER WAS BORN WHEN WE THOUGHT OUR MOTHER WILL NOT BE GIVING BIRTH TO ANOTHER CHILD. WE WERE ALREADY SEVEN IN THE FAMILY. MY YOUNGER BROTHER WAS THE BABY OF THE FAMILY FOR THREE YEARS. HE WAS WELL TAKEN CARED OF BY ALL OF US. FROM THE TIME HE STARTED WALKING, ALL OF US WAS THERE FOR HIM. HIS FIRST STEP WAS THE JOY FOR ALL OF HIS SIBLINGS. HIS BAPTISM WAS GIVEN A BIG BASH BY MY FATHER, CUZ HE NOW HAS THREE BOYS TO BRAG ABOUT, ME BEING THE ELDEST AMONG THE THREE. MY KID BROTHER'S ABILITY TO BE ABLE TO WALK AND FINALLLY SPEAK WAS SOMETHING TO REMEMBER.

HE DID NOT HAVE THE LUXURY OF HAVING HIS OWN YAYA AND PRIVATE BUS TO PICK HIM UP AND DROP HIM IN SCHOOL. DURING THOSE TIME, THIS IS NOT THE COMMON PRACTICE YET. WE HAVE TO WALK HOME FROM SCHOOL TO OUR HOUSE VICE VERSA. THEN IT WAS TIME FOR HIM TO ATTEND HIS ELEMENTARY SCHOOL. I LEFT HIM THOSE TIMES, CUZ I WAS PREPAIRING FOR THE ENTRY TO SEMINARY. I WAS ENGAGED IN THE CHURCH SERVICES AND ACTIVITIES IN THE CHURCH.

WHEN I ENTERED THE SEMINARY, MY YOUNGEST BROTHER WAS ABOUT TO ENTER HIGH SCHOOL. WHEN I COME TO VISIT THE FAMILY ONCE A MONTH, OUR CONVERSATION IS LIMITED. MY YOUNGER BROTHER HAS HIS OWN AGENDA AND I AM NO LONGER IN TUNED WITH IT. I TALKED TO HIM AND EXPLAIN TO HIM THINGS ABOUT GOD AND RELIGION BUT HE DOES NOT SEEMS TO UNDERSTAND IT, BUT BEING THE YOUNGER BROTHER AND I KNOW HIS RESPECT ME AS BEING HIS ELDER BROTHER, HE WILL JUST SAY AMEN TO ALL THE THINGS I SAY TO HIM.

WHEN HE WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL, OUR BUSINESS IS BOOMING AND THERE IS NO STOP TO IT. SO ALL THE TWO YOUNGER SIBLINGS WAS GIVEN THE BEST SCHOOL, CLOTHINGS AND ALL THE MONEY CAN BUY. MY YOUNGER BROTHER WAS DROWNING TO ALL OF THESE CHANGES, AND WE DID NOT NOTICE THE CHANGED IN HIM. WE ALL THOUGHT ALL IS FINE AND DANDY, BUT NEEDLESS TO SAY, HE WAS TRYING TO SAY SOMETHING TO ALL OF US, BUT WE WERE ALL BUSY TRYING TO RUN A BIG COMPANY AND ME BUSY TRYING TO FINISH MY PRIESTHOOD STUDIES.

WHEN I STEP OUT OF THE SEMINARY, I TOOK OVER THE BUSINSESS AND ON THE PERSUATION OF MY MOTHER, MY YOUNGER BROTHER UPON GRADUATING FROM HIGH SCHOOL WAS SENT TO SCHOOL IN RADIO TELEPHONY. HE WAS GOOD ON IT. THEN HE WORKED FOR OUR COMPANY AS A MESSENGER BECAUSE I WILL NOT LET ANY RELATIVE START ON THE TOP OF THE LADDER BECAUSE OF RELATIONSHIP. HE HAS TO PROVE TO ME THAT HE WAS CAPABLE OF BEING GIVEN A POSITION IN THE COMPANY. THEN SUDDENLY, WITHOUT FURTHER ADO HE TOLD US HE WANTS TO GET MARRIED. WE WERE ALL SHOCK, WE DID NOT KNOW HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND. IT WAS ONE OF MY CLERICAL SUPPORT. SO MARRIED THEY BECAME, HE WAS MARRIED BY THE PRIEST WHO IS OUR FRIEND AND WHO WAS MY FORMER PARISH PRIEST AND THE ONE WHO TOOK ME AS HIS ASSISTANT DURING MY SEMINARY FORMATION.

MY YOUNGER BROTHER, GOT MARRIED AND WE GAVE HIM THE POSITIION TO TAKE CARE OF ALL OF VOLUMES OF COMMUNICATIONS VIA SATELLITE AND TELEX (FAX MACHINE WAS NOT YET IN USE) HE PROVE HIMSELF TO BE GOOD AT IT, WE GAVE HIM ADDITIONAL WORK, WITH ADDITIONAL MONEY, CUZ HE IS NOW MARRIED AND WILL BE A FATHER SOON. ASIDE FROM BEING THE ONE INCHARGE IN THE TELECOMMUNICATION, HE WAS TEACHING ALL THE SHIP'S RADIO OPERATOR THE MODERN TELEPHONY AND THE (INMARSAT) INTERNATIONAL MARITIME SATELLITE TRAINING.

HIS FIRST SON CAME. WE WERE HAPPY FOR HIM. BUT THE BABY AS HE WAS GROWING UP WAS DIFFERENT WAS IN DOING THINGS. VERY QUITE AND WANTS TO IMMITATE OTHER PEOPLE BUT VERY INTELLIGENT. HE BECAME SO ENGROSSED AND SO AMAZED WITH AIRPLANES. THAT WAS THE ONLY THING HE TALKED ABOUT. MY WHOLE FAMILY WAS A LITTLE CONCERNED, SO HE WAS SENT TO A SPECIAL KIDS THERAPHY, THEN WE FOUND OUT HE WAS AUTISTIC. NOW THE BOY IS NOW A TEENAGER AND ON HIS 3RD YEAR OF LEARNING HOW TO FLY AN AIR PLANE. ANOTHER SISTER CAME, BUT ANOTHER PROBLEM WAS IN STORE. SHE HAS A THIRD PLAYMATE AND ALWAYS TALK TO HER FRIEND. SHE WAS SENT AGAIN TO A PLAY THERAPHY, AND THEN WAS DIAGNOSED TO HAVE SLIGHT AUTISM ALSO.

MY KID BROTHER TOOK THESE THINGS WITH AN OPEN HEART. NEVER COMPLAINED ABOUT WHAT WAS GIVEN TO HIM BY GOD, AND HOW IT WAS GIVEN TO HIM. THEY LIVE A LIFE OF SIMPLICITY AND ALL IN THE DIRECT AND WATCHFUL EYES AND SUPERVISION OF MY MOTHER WITHIN THE COMPLEX OF THR COMPANY HOUSING.

LAST FEBRUARY OF THIS YEAR, MY KID BROTHER WAS HAVING PROBLEM SWALLOWING HIS FOOD. HE THOUGHT IT WAS INDIGESTION AND SOMETHING HE ATE. HE KEPT IT FROM ALL OF US AND JUST WENT ON WITH HIS LIFE, UNTIL IT GOT WORST THIS APRIL THEN HE CANNOT HIDE IT ANYMORE THAT HE WAS ORDERED BY MY ELDER SISTER TO SEE A DOCTOR. BY THE TIME HE WAS DIAGNOSED, IT WAS TOO LATE. THE ESOPHAGIAL TRACT IS ALREADY SWOLLEN AND AN IMMEDIATE CATSCAN WAS ORDERED. MY KID BROTHER WAS SO NERVOUS ABOUT IT. HE WAS IMMEDIATELY ORDERD TO STAY AT THE HOSPITAL BY OUR FAMILY DOCTOR, A SECOND OPINION WAS ASKED AND THE WHAT WE ARE FEARING WAS TRUE, MY KID BROTHER HAS CANCER OF THE ESOPHAGIAL TRACT.

HE WENT UNDER THE KNIFE OF THE DOCTOR MY FAMILY HAS CHOSEN, AS ADVISED BY THE FAMILY PHYSICIAN. LAST MONDAY, MY BROTHER'S LIFE WAS IN THE HANDS OF HIS SURGEON. NOW HE IS IN THE HANDS OF WHAT ALL IS SAYING TO BE OF "PRAYERS" AND THE "DECISION OF GOD" THEY WERE NOT ABLE TO ARREST THE PROBLEM, ALL OF MY FAMILY IS WAITING FOR A "MIRACLE", I WAS WAITING FOR MEDICAL AND CLINICAL ANALYSIS FROM HIS DOCTOR AND OUR FAMILY PHYSICIAN. I CALLED THE CELL FON OF HIS WIFE THINKING THAT SHE WAS NOT INSIDE THE ROOM OF MY BROTHER. WHEN MY BROTHER LEARNED THAT I WAS ON THE FON WITH HIS WIFE, HE MOTIONED HER TO HAND OVER CEL PHONE TO HIM. I HALTED ALL EMOTIONS, I TOLD HIM HOW MUCH I HAVE THOUGHT OF HIM WHILE HE WAS IN SURGERY, I TOLD HIM I WAS SO PROUD OF HIM AND WILL ALWAYS LOVE HIM AND WILL ALWAYS BE PROUD OF HIM --- HE FORCED HIMSELF TO SPEAK FOR ME, I TOLD HIM TO HAND OVR THE FON TO HIS WIFE AND REST, WHEN I HANG UP THE FON, I STARTED TO CRY LIKE I HAVE NEVER CRIED BEFORE IN MY WHOLE LIFE.

MY LAMENT FOR MY YOUNGER BROTHER IS HE WAS SO NAIVE ABOUT SO MANY THINGS IN LIFE, AND YET HE WAS GIVEN THIS MOST HIDEOUS KIND OF SICKNESS AND AILMENT. WHAT HAS HE DONE TO DERSERVE THIS.WHAT IS THE KIND OF CRUELTY THAT HE HAS DONE TO THIS WORLD AND TO OTHER PEOPLE THAT MY BROTHER WILL BE GIVEN SUCH SUFFERINGS THAT WILL MELT ANY HEART. I AM FINDING AN ANSWER, BUT I CAN'T FIND ONE. IS THERE JUSTICE INTO THIS--- I DONT KNOW.

THEN I TEXT HIM ON HIS CELL FON AND SAID TO HIM:

" DEAREST PHILLIP, I WAS THINKING OF YOU ALL THE TIME YOU WERE IN SURGERY. I HAVE KNOWN YOU TO BE A BRAVE KID. I WAS ROUTING FOR YOU, I KNOW YOU WILL PASS THIS TEST WITH FLYING COLORS AND YOU WILL MAKE US ALL PROUD OF YOU, ONCE MORE. AND I WANT YOU TO KNOW ALSO, THAT I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU AND WILL ALWAYS THINK OF YOU AS MY LITTLE BROTHER. THINK THAT I AM THERE WITH YOU, HUGGING YOU AND KISSING AS YOUR KUYA BOY. TAKE CARE LITTLE BROTHER, I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU"

WHY HIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
WHY HIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
WHY HIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
WHY HIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!

posted by infraternam meam @ 12:53 AM

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