| Thursday, April 22, 2004
|COMMUNICATING WITH BOYS TO HELP THEM BECOME THE BEST MEN THEY CAN BE
abstracted from the book of Dr. Richard Heyman, Ed. D.
Here are some tips in disciplining your 16 to 18 years old boys:
** you and your boy sit down and create the rules that he needs to follow. they should cover things like school, grades, homework, money given and money earned, jobs around the house, curfews, politeness in the family and to others, bedtime, getting up on time, food, loud music, behaviour that disturbs others, respect for property, tidiness around the house and his bedroom.
** make it clear that you won't bail your boy out of trouble right away. if he breaks the rules, he's going to suffer some of the consequences.
** you and your boy should both agree that you don't expect him to be perfect. on one's perfect. he's entitled tomake mistakes. the important thing is for him to learn from those mistakes.
** show your boy you applaud him when he shows good discipline. reward him verbally and perhaps with some tangible token of appreciation like giving him a small gift or something that he needs.
** work with your boy to make the punishment fit the crime. when he breaks a rule you have jointly created he should know more or less what the consequences are and they should follow immediately.
** finally, be a model of good self-discipline for your boy. show him that you too have rules you need to follow. be honest with im when you break them and show him you hae faced the consequences.
HERE ARE SOME THINGS YOU MUST DISCUSS WITH YORU BOY WHEN IT COMES TO SEX:
** the only safe sex is no sex at all.
** if this is unrealistic, then sex must be protected sex.
** AIDS is one of the most serious diseases that can result from unprotected sex.
** discuss other transmitted diseases like syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, genital warts, herpes and hepatitis B and C.
** masturbation is a safe substitute for intercourse.
** latex condoms are the best protection agains pregnancy and disease during sex but they are not 100 percent effective.
THINGS NOT TO SAY AND DO
don't pretend your boy does not want sex. dont say things such as:- -
- - don't come to me if anything goes wrong.
- - you know i don't approve sex before marriage, so dont tell me things i don't want to hear.
WORDS AND PHRASES AND ACTIONS TO AVOID:
* aid's is gods punishment.
* you're a sinner.
* no contraception, its your fault.
* abstinence is the only way.
* don't come crying to me.
* you get what you deserve.
* you're an evil boy.
* you'll regret this.
|posted by infraternam meam @ 4:47 AM