| Friday, September 10, 2004
| MELANISMS (new book from Melanie Marquez)
|(sent by a friend from the west side of chicago)
(Note: MELAPROPISM, meaning "a ludicrous misuse of a word," is derived from Mrs. Malaprop, a character in the play The Rivals by Richard B. Sheridan , 1751-1816)
I love my long legged friend Melanie for, among other reasons (besides her fractured English), her way of unwittingly amusing and regaling us with her, that's it, Malapropismson national television.
During the passionate word war between her half brother Joey Marquez and Kris Aquino, Melani provided the "comic relief" by mouthing quotables, thus firming up her reputation as the (uncrowned) Quotable Queen.
The good thing about it, is that Melanie herself is amused/ regaled by those little jewels tumbling out of her mouth, profusely especially when she's angry. She told me that she would have her TV guesting recorded and on when she got home, she'd have a fun time watching the tapes and yes, laughing at herself.
That's the spirit, 'no?
"Bakit", Melanie said during an interview, "Yung magagaling mag English diyan, may Miss International title ba sila?"
Oo nga naman, mayroon ba kayo?
Don't look now but Melanie is seriously thinking of compiling her "Melanisms" into a neat little book like the pocket size Mao little red book (of quotations, or Maosisma). Nice idea, isn't it? It should be a best seller (like Pres. Joseph Estrada's eraptions).
When Melanie told me about it, I suggested that she jazz up the book with cartoons and call it Quote Me But wait,. Don't judge Melanie just yet because, as we all know, she's not a book.
Here and now, my friend Jonathan Chua (who's a STAR contributor) has compiled some Melanisms for inclusions in that much awaited book, to wit.
HERE ARE SOME OF THE QUOTES:
My brother is not a girl; he's a gentleman.
That's why I'm a success. It's because I don't middle in other people's lives.
Don't judge my brother, he's not a book.
I won't stoop down to my level.
Hello? Bulag ka ba? Bingi ka ba? Are you Dep?
'Yung STD, baka sa maruming toilet lang niya nakuha yan.
Eh, ikaw ba naman, durugin and ari mo....Pag di ka naman manutok ng baril.
We are lovers, not fighters.
Kapatid ko pa rin siya, we are one and the same.
I don't eat meat, I'm not a carnival.
(During her acceptance speech at a Metro Filmfest Awards night where her bioflick, directed by her late father Temyong Marquez, won and award)
Eto na po ang pinakamaligayang pasko at manigong taon sa inyong lahat.
Sumasakit ang Migrane ko.
Ang tatay ko, ang only living legend na buhay!
(When asked on S-files if her present husband, Adam Lawyer, is her Mr. Right, she said)
Period na talaga; wala nang exclamation point.
(At a talk show after her break up with Derek Dee, Melanie was aked if she had some words for Derek's mother, whom she partly blamed for the separation)
"Oo nga", said Melanie,"pero I-Enlish-in ko para maintindihan niya." Then Melanie looked into the camera and, with the peremptoriness of royalty, she said, "And to you, Mrs Dee, I have two words for you. Ang labo mo!".
When asked for a message to her daugher who was allegedly abused by their houseboy: "Dont worry little angel, big angel is here".
On what they should do to the houseboy who molested her kid:"He should be put behind bar". You can fool me once, you can fool me twice, you can fool me thrice, but you can never fool me four".
While waiting backstage during the noontime show, after watching Nikki Valdez do her dance number."Nikki, you're so galing. You should go to the states. You will sell hotcakes".
|posted by infraternam meam @ 1:24 AM