IN FRATERNAM MEAM

IN FRATERNAM MEAM

Tuesday, January 06, 2004

THE OXFORD DICTIONARY OF HUMUROUS QUOTATIONS:
=======================================
(excerpts as compiled by: Ned Sherrin)

a). Of Life and Living----------------------

1. "Life is a sexually transmitted disease."
(graffito- found in a London underground)

2. "Cocaine habit-forming? Of course not. I ought to know. I've been using it for years."
(Talullah Bankhead - 1903-68)

3. "Life is the funny thing that happens to you on the way to the grave."
(Quentin Crips - 1908-99)

4. "Life is a cabaret, old chum. Come to the cabaret."
(Fred Ebb 1965)

5. "If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut".
(Albert Einstein 1879-1955)

6. "Life is just one damned thing after the another".
(Elbert Hubbard 1859-1915)

7. "Life is something to do when you cannot go to sleep".
(Fran Lebowitz 1946)

8. "Life is a shit sandwich and everyday you take another bite."
(Joe Schmidt 1979)

9. "Oh, isn't life a terrible thing, thank God?"
(Dylan Thomas 1914-1953)

10."Laugh it off, laugh it off; it's all part of life's pageant"
(Arthur Marshall 1910-1989)

B. Of Love
-------------

1. "If this is not love, it is madness, and then it is pardonable"
(William Congreve 1670-1729_

2. "They made love as though they were an endangered species".
(Peter de Vries 1910-1993)

3. "Love is a disease. But curable".
(Rose Macaulay 1881-1958)

4. " Love is a dillusion that one woman differs from another."
(H.L. Mencken 1880-1956)

5. "Most gentlemen does not like love, They just like to kick it around".
(Cole Porter 1891-1964)

6. "Love's like measles-- all the worse when it comes late in life".
(Douglas Jarrod 1803-1957)

7. "If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?"
(Lily Tomlin 1939)

8. "Love conquers all things --- except poverty and toothache".
(Mae West 1892-1980)

9. "To love oneself is the beginning of a live long romance".
(Oscar Wilde 1854-1900)

10."Loving you Is not a Choice And not much reason To rejoice".
(Stephen Sondheim 1930)

c. On Marriage------------------

1. "Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy."
(Mexican saying)

2. "A man cannot marry before he has studied anatomy and has dissected at least one woman".
(Honore de Balzac 1799-1850)

3. "The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman".
(Samuel Taylor Coleridge 1772-1834)

4. "What are your views in marriage? 'Rather garbled' ".
(Noel CVoward 1899-1973)

5. "A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he is finished".
(Zsa Zsa Gabor 1919)

6. "Advise to a man about to marry----"Don't".
(Punch 1841-1992)

7. "A young man married is a man that's marred".
(William Shakespeare 1564-1616)

8. "It is a woman's business to get married as soon as possible, and a man's to keep unmarried as long as he can."
(Gerge Bernard Shaw 1856-1950)

9. "Marriage isn't a word.....it's a sentence!".
(King Vidor 1895-1982)

10."Marriage is a great institution---but I am not ready for an institution yet">
(Mae West 1892-1980)

posted by infraternam meam @ 2:22 AM

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