IN FRATERNAM MEAM

IN FRATERNAM MEAM

Monday, March 22, 2004

THE WINDOWS OF MY WORLD
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i was awaken by my dog at 2pm. misty knows my waking time. i always sleep at 5am cuz i arrived home at around 330am n cannot sleep easily., i still have to read my books. 5am is the earliest and 6am is the latest sleeping time for me. when my dog misty woke me up, i went straight to the bathroom, took the morning pills for my thyroid n other complicated illnesses. then have to wait for one hour until i will be able to eat anything. while waiting for the medication to kick in at least an hour, i have to take my sugar reading. there are three glucose meter reader in the house, one at the bathroom, one in the kitchen and one that i bring along with me at work and elsewhere.

the sugar is alright and its time to eat breakfast. my breakfast is always between 2pm n 3pm. this is the routine of my life. i heard my younger son down in his bedroom at the basement. i cannot beleive it--he is home and there is still light outside. i called on him and asked him to make me a cheese omelet.

we talked, which is a very rare occasion. we were talking about marriage and raising a family. he told me he is not yet interested in getting married. for him marrying age is 30. we also talked about health---he was looking at all the medicine that i am taking. he knows that these are all for me for the rest of my earthly life. he gave me reminders on how to take care of myself. APOLOGIZED and told me at times he is the one causing me anger and pain. i told my youngest son, i was proud of him and i love him very much. he told me YOU AND MOM MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME . then he went downstairs to his room in the basement and i heard him talking on the fon to his friend. i was eating--- i did not know i was in tears until the tears fell on the side of the plate of the omelet. so i asked myself if all fathers become sentimental when their children says things that is very deep in their heart.

i then called my eldest son, who is now at work after school. he is managing a pizzeria at the downtown area of my town. at first ring he ansewered the fon and said that he is prepairing the cooks and the front counter for the customers. i told him i have not seen him for almost 10 days now. he has his own apartment. he told me he is busy with school and work. he said he will eat dinner with me and my wife tonite since i am off this evening.my eldest son told me EVEN IF I DONT SEE YOU VERY OFTEN DAD--- YOU ARE STILL WITH ME, YOU ARE MY FATHER AND I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU. he said goodbye, i hang on to the fon, i was clutching it, like it was about to melt in my hands, tears came running in my cheeks, i was crying and i dont know why. i looked at my dog, she seems like she understood everything and kissed my feet. she stood up and asked to be taken and be carried and kissed me and licked my tears.

why do i shed tears----- because i find these moments in my time A KODAK MOMENT.

i always see the world around me THRU THE VOICE AND MESSAGES OF MY TWO BOYS THAT I LOVE VERY MUCH.

posted by infraternam meam @ 3:24 PM

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