IN FRATERNAM MEAM

IN FRATERNAM MEAM

Monday, March 08, 2004

A COMPENDIUM OF WISE , WITTY AND IRREVERENT COUNSEL
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(extract from the compilations of : Jon Winokur)

On AGEING....

1. You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old. (George Burns)

2. The first sign of age.... is when you go out into the streets.....
and recognize for the first time ..... how young the policemen look.( Seymour Hicks)

3. Stay busy, get plenty of exercise and don't drink too much.
Then again, don't drink too little. (Herman Smith-Johanssen)

4. If you want to stay young-looking, pick your paretns very carefully. (Dick Clark)

5. Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it does'nt matter. (Satchel Paige)

6. When you get past fifty, you have to decide whether to keep your face or your figure.
I kept my face. ( Barbara Cartland)

7. Nature gives you the facer you have at twenty,
but its up to you to merit the face you have at fifty. (Coco Chanel)

8. I'll tell you how to stay youg...Hang around with older people. (Bob Hope)

9. The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.( Lucille Ball)

A L W A Y S......

1. Always live in the ugliest house on the street-----
then you don't have to look at it.(David Hockney)

2. Murder is always a mistake....One should never do anything
that on cannot talk about after dinner. (Oscar Wilde)

3. It is always the best policy to tell the truth,
unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar. (Jerome Jerome)

4. Therefore, from a logical point of view, Always marry a woman uglier than you. (Calypso Song)

5. Always treat a lady like a whore, and a whore like a lady .( Wilson Mizner)

6. Always forgive your enemies----- nothing annoys them, so much. (Oscar Wilde)

ON FASHION.......

1. A woman who does'nt wear lipstick feels undressed in public. Unless she works on a farm (Max Factor)

2. Look for a woman in the dress. If there is no woman, there is no dress. (Coco Chanel)

3. A woman's dress should be like a barbed-wire fence;
serving it's purpose w/o obstructing the view. (Sophia Loren)

4. Never wear anything that will panic the cat. (P.J.O'Rourke)

5. Men who wears turtlenekcs, look like turtle. (Dopris Lilly)

on N E V E R ......

1. Never trust anyone over thirty. (Jerry Rubin)

2. Never underestimate the power of human stupidity. (Robert Heinlein)

3. Never get involved with someone who wants to change you. (Quentin Crisp)

4. Never let anyone outside the family know what you're thinking. (Marlon Brando on the Godfather)

5. Never befriend the oppressed, unless you are prepared to take the oppressor. (Ogden Nash)

6. Never judge a book by its movie. (J.W. Egan)

7. Never give a sucker an even break . (W.C. Fields)

8. Never run after your own hat---others will be delighted to do it; why spoil their fun! (Mark Twain)

9. Never trust a man with short legs--- brain's too near their bottoms. (Noel Coward)

10.Never...Never...enter the house of SIN.( Cardinal Sin of the Phils. to Imelda Marcos , during the Peoples Power)

11.Never slap a man who chews tobacco. (Willard Scott)

12.Never co-sign. (Al Mcguire)

13.Never give a Power of Attorney. (Debbie Reynolds)

14.Never have yourself tattoed with any woman's name, not even her initials. (P.G. Wodehouse)

15.Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.(Emma Bombeck)

posted by infraternam meam @ 2:20 AM

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