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Friday, April 08, 2005
08 April 05
After I have watched for three hours the Farewell to the Pope on television, as early as 0230Hrs Central Time on television, I have to take some few hours of sleep because I have to go for an (MRI) Magnetic Resonance Imaging at Evanston/Northwestern Hospital.

It was the direct order of my Neurologist. To determine why am I getting so much pain on the right side of my face, from the jawbone which gives out electrifying pain all over the right side of my face that is going all the way to the frontal lobe and at the back of my head to the back of the brain that is connected to the spine.

Since this is my first time to undergo such experience, it scared me very much. In preparation, I was prep what to expect, what not to do and what will happen and the sounds that I will hear and then a dye will be injected into my vein to see further imaging of the brain. (Post FOSSA)

Wearing a hospital gown, I was asked to lie flat on my back, on this rail that is just enough to hold my body lying on my back, with my hands, on top of my stomach,on prayer stance position. Then a plug was inserted on both my ears, and hard foam pillows was placed on both sides of my ears and on the top of my head so that I won't be able to move. I was told not to cough, not to sneeze, not to fall asleep because if I have fallen asleep for this 35minutes procedure, I might twitch unconciously and the whole process will be repeated again.

I was then tested if I am claustrophobic, I guess I was not, but my heart kept on pounding and I can hear its beating or maybe it is just in my head, after all my brain has to be investigated upon. I went inside this tunnel, with a vibration and a contineuous Thudding sound and Hissing sound in full throttle.

For 35 mins, I was inside this tunnel, with strange sounds, while I have closed my eyes during the whole process.

As I lie inside this strange contraption, my mind was wondering...
... is this how it is to be buried alive?
... is this how it is to be placed inside a sarcophagus, alive?
... what If I cough or sneeze or move, what will happen?
... i cannot stand up, that is for sure cuz I am strap, and no space to move,what if?
... what if the Neurologist finds something wrong with my brain?
... what if in the middle of this procedure, I had an attack?
WHAT IF.....WHAT IF.....WHAT IF....??

As soon as I was taken out of that dreadful looking machine, I immediately asked for some tissue and blow my nose and sneeze. The technician was asking me if I was crying. I said no... I just sneezed. But the truth to the matter, I was in tears, for fear that there might be some problem that will be seen by the Neurologist regarding the problem causing such pain in the TRIGEMINAL NEURALGIA.

I immediately told my wife that we leave the basement hospital cuz I am becoming claustrophobic. I don't even want to use the elevator, I don't want to go inside an enclosed space.

I have to wait now for at least 7 days, before the Neurologist calls me and tell me the findings and his recommendations.

As soon as we arrived home, I told my wife to give me some privacy in my study room and I immediately read and revised my LIVING WILL and MY TESTAMENT.

Am I morbid?
posted by infraternam meam @ 5:25 PM  
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Name: infraternam meam
Home: Chicago, United States
About Me: I am now at the prime of my life and have been married for the past 25 years. Sickly at times, but wants to see the elixir vita, so that I will be able to see my grandchildren from my two boys.
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