| Saturday, November 27, 2004
| GOO HUMOR , MAN
|(Got a sphincter-wrenching joke that can top these? We'll pay $150.00 for the Joke of the Month. Send 'em to Jokes,Maxim, 1040 Avenue of the Americas, 14th flr, Ny.Ny 10018, or email them to firstname.lastname@example.org.)
A businessman gets in an elevator. A blonde inside greets him
with a smile and say, "T.G.I.F."!
The businessman returns the smile and responds, "S-H-I-T".
The blonde, puzzeld,smiles her biggest smile and repeasts as
sweetly as possible, "T.G.I.F".!
The businessman shoots back, with a quizzical expression
and said, "S-H-I-T".
The blonde, frustrated, decides to explain the things
"T.G.I.F. Thank Goodness It's Friday--get it"?
The man grins. "Sorry, Honey; It's Thursday." S-H-I-T.
- - - - - -
Two girls one from the South and one from the Nort, are
seated side by side on a plane.
The Southern girl, being friendly and all, says,
"So where y'all from?"
The Northern girls turns to her and sneers,
"From a place where they know better than to use a
preposition at the end of a sentence."
The Southern girl sits quietly for a few moments,
then responds, "So where y'all from, Bitch?"
- - - - - - -
A lady goest to a doctor.
Lady: "Doctor, my vaginal lips are large. I want them reduced
but I want to keep this surgery confidential".
Doctor: "No problem. Come back in a few weeks and we'll
take care of it."
Two weeks later the lady has the surgery done. When she wakes
up she notices three roses by her bed.
Lady: "Doctor, why are there three roses by my bed? I thought
I told you to keep it confidential."
Doctor: "I did. The first rose is from me, congratulating
you on your surgery. The second is from the nurse."
Lady: " Who's the third rose from?"
Doctor: " The man from the burn unit upstairs, thanking
you for his new earlobes."
- - - - - - -
THE HOLY NAIL
The pope is very ill, and nobody can cure him.The cardinals called
in an old physician recommended to them. After an hourlong
examination, he comes up with a solution.
"I've got some good news and some bad news. The bad news: The pope
has a rare testicular disorder. The good news: He can be cured.....
with sex. " The cardinals, not happy with the cure, explain the
situation to the pope.
"I'll agree to it." says the pope. "But under four conditions"!
The cardinals are all shocked. "What are the four conditions?"
"First, the girl must be blind, so she cannot see with whom she is
having sex. Second, she must be deaf, so she cannot hear with whom
she is having sex with. And third, she must be dumb, so if she somehow
figures out with whom she is having sex, she can tell no one."
After a long pause, a cardinal asks, "And the fourth condition?."
(Larry Catterton of Amherst, MA)
|posted by infraternam meam @ 10:41 PM