| Tuesday, October 26, 2004
| BATTLE SCARS......The war between the sexes has been long and hard, with lots of ups and downs. Here are some of the highlights
|(abstracted from MAXIMMAG)
20,000 B.C.after taking advice from the world's
first girl, Adam gets a banana hammock and is tossed
out of Eden. The battle is on.....
10,000 B.C. Delilah cuts her boyfriend Samson's hair,
sapping his strength. Men start wearing their hair
short to be on the safe side.
836 B.C. Queen Jezebel of Israel is deposed by Jehu, who
orders her thrown out of the window. Men no longer
30 B.C. siding with his girl Cleopatra against his former
brother -in-law Augustus, Mark Antony angers the Gods,
loses empire, and kills self.
1400 B.C. the newly invented chastity belt is introduced
at the Fair of San Germain. Horny Italian women watch
1547 Henry VIII, after beheading two of his six wives,
dies from syphillis and gross obesity. Feminists have
found their poster boy.
1776 Asked by his wife to "consider the ladies" while
drafting the Declation of Indipendence, John Adams
writes, "All men are created equal."
1826 First public high school for chicks. Male domination
on earth enters its twilight years. Upside: Playboy's
"Girls of the Pac-10."
1887 Congress passed the Edmunds-Tucker Act outlawing
Polygamy, but kills a similar bill outlawing pushy
Long Island hao-ers.
1910 The electric washing machine frees women up for more
liberating tasks, such as fetching beers and getting pregnant.
1920 Women are given the vote. They procees to do little
for ten yeas before joining with men to end abortion.
1960 The Birth Control Pill allows miilions of American
hotties to tramp about town without paying the consequences,
just like men.
1966 Feminist Betty Firedman helps form the National Organization
for Women, a fanatical army with active cell in all 50 states.
1976 West Point opens its doors to 119 women. That same year the
esteemed academy introduces the "girly-style" push-up.
1982 The Equal Rights Amendment goes down in flames. Coincidentally
Martha Stewart publishes her first book,Entertaining.
1983 Andy Kaufman retires from the Intergender Wrestling League
having slammed to the mat more than 400 uppity women.
1991 Overcoming Anita Hill's allegations of sexual harrasment,
Clarence Thomas invites his fellow justices over for a gang bang.
1992 Pat Robertson snaps and says feminish leads women to "leave
the husbands, kill their children and become lesbians."
1995 Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky share a pizza....
with extra sausage! Receiving a blow job now an
executive priviledge in D.C.
2001 Millions of teenage boys, perform unintentionally
simultaneous ejaculation volley during "Britney Spears
Live from Las Vegas."
|posted by infraternam meam @ 1:23 AM