IN FRATERNAM MEAM: HOW TO AVOID GETTING FIRED

IN FRATERNAM MEAM

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

HOW TO AVOID GETTING FIRED

.....everyday average workers grt laid off all the time ----- here's how to step up and escape the ax.....(abstracted from MAXMAG)

1..... USE YOUR MOUTH

in a room of otherwise equal employees, the one who speaks up most seems the least dispensable( provided he's not drunk). So improve your verbal game. "Talk business gossip and use buzz words", recommends David R. Carpe, Boston based career consultant. Dedicating one brain - fryingly dull hour a month to reading a trade journal will let you talk shop instead of sports when you get some face time with your boss at the water cooler. And identify yourself as a leader by sending a "Way to go!" e-mail to everyone who helped make a project happen--even if you were'nt in charge-- and don't forget the boss man.

2..... GIVE GOOD TIME

Especially in this age of layoffs, no boss is going to fire a guy he thinks is doing the jobs for the price of one. Arriving before your manager does and staying later tells him you're there if he needs you. "Being available beyond nine to five shows you care about your job, not just the pay check." says John A. Challenger, CEO of the festively named consulting firm Challenger Gray & Christmas Inc. Luckily this can be faked: A Program available at GoToMyPC.com lets you work on your office computer from any other machine, so you can look busy at 10pm, while you're just watching Charmed in your underwear.

3.....EXPLOIT THE HELP

milk that eager junior staff of yours for all they're worth. From photocopying to first drafts, delegate anything you can to eager beaver underlings and interns who thrive on gaining experience. For added credibitlity make it sound as if this directive is coming from above. Lines like "We'd like to give you some more responsibility......"and " We think your strenghts are here, so you'd be perfect to try....."will let you hand off busywork, increase your own productivity and build an office buzz about what a Cool Ass Leaderas Bill Clinton taught us, are impossible to fire.

4..... BLAME A VICTIM

Don't hide when your project goes FUBAR--- taking responsibility renders you irreplaceable. When shit meets fan, have a junior staffer deliver the bad news to the boss while you concoct a solution. Use the urgency of the problem to draw the attendtion from who or what needs to be fixed, suggest a solution and make it clear you'll do whatever it takes. "Your boss won't fire you if you agree with him, so jump on the bandwagon." swears James Wright, partner at Bridge Technical Solutions in Rhode Island and a career counselor. Now coast until that Social Security kicks in.

posted by infraternam meam @ 12:05 AM

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