IN FRATERNAM MEAM: MORTUS TUI

IN FRATERNAM MEAM

Friday, July 09, 2004

MORTUS TUI

MY KID BROTHER IS IN THE HANDS OF THE DOCTORS AT THE MANILA MEDICAL CENTER. HE IS IN CLOSE WATCH RIGHT NOW AND UNDERGOING SO MANY CHEMO TREATMENT. AS SOON AS I WALKED INTO MY HOUSE THIS MORNING AT 4AM COMING FROM WORK, I CALLED THE HOSPITAL BUT UNABLE TO GET THRU THE LINE. (WHY IS IT SO HARD TO CALL THE PHILS?) SO I SEND TEX MSGS TO MY KID BROTHER.

I TOLD HIM THAT I WILL BE SENDING HIM SOME FOOD STUFF THAT HE CUD EAT IN CREAM FORM VIA FED EX. HE IMMEDIATELY REPLIED AND SAID HE LIKE IT. HE SAID HE IS ON HIS WAY TO THE CHAPEL OF THE HOSPITAL TO ATTEND THE MASS WITH MY PARENTS AND MY SISTERS.

I TOLD MY BROTHER TO PRAY AND ASK THAT HIS SICKNESS BE TRANSFERRED TO ME AS LONG AS HE GETS WELL. I TOLD HIM THAT I HAVE BEEN USED TO SO MUCH PAINFUL AILMENT IN MY LIFE.

MY BROTHER DID NOT KNOW THE FINAL ANALYSIS OF THE DOCTOR. MY PARENTS ADVISED AND ORDERED THE DOCTOR NOT TO TELL HIM.

THE DOCTORS SAID THEY CAN ONLY ESTIMATE UNTIL END OF AUGUST.

IS THERE ANY OTHER THINGS THAT WE COULD ASK...IS THERE ANYTHING THAT WE COULD TRADE....IS THERE ANYTHING WE COULD OFFER TO SAVE HIM....IS THERE ANYTHING IN THE WORLD THAT COULD HEAR THE PLEADING OF MY AGING PARENTS FOR THEIR AILING AND DYING SON? I WISH THERE IS SOMETHING, BUT THERE IS NONE.

I TALKED TO MY MOTHER AND SHE TOLD ME CRYING ON THE FON, THAT IT IS NOT GOOD FOR THE MOTHER AND FATHER TO BURY THEIR CHILDREN---- SHE SAID IT SHOULD BE THE CHILDREN SUPPOSSEDLY BURYING THEIR PARENTS.

WHAT CAN I TELL MY MOTHER.... SHALL I TELL HER NOT TO WEEP AND CRY, CUZ EVERYTHING WILL BE ALRIGHT, EVERYTHING WILL TURN OUT OKEY AND HER YOUNGEST SON....HER BABY WILL SURVIVE AND WILL RETURN BACK HOME!! WHAT CAN I TELL MY MOTHER TO EASE HER PAIN AND HER LAMENTATIONS.

MY FATHER TOLD ME HE IS ALREADY 83 YEARS OLD AND ASKED ME HOW COME IT WAS NOT GIVEN TO HIM, JUST TO SAVE MY YOUNGER BROTHER. I TOLD MY FATHER WHO WAS CRYING ON THE FON----AND TOLD HIM, I WISH I HAVE AN ANSWER FATHER..... BUT I DON'T HAVE.... I REALLY DON'T HAVE. I WISH I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL MY FATHER TO EASE ALSO HIS SORROW.... I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO TELL MY PARENTS.

I DID NOT LET THEM HEAR ME CRYING ON THE FON, BUT AS I BLOG THIS ENTRY.... I STARTED CRYING, I HAVE TO CRY. I WANTED TO REACH OUT TO BROTHER AND WHISPER IN HIS EARS TO FEAR NOT CUZ EVERYTHING WILL TURN OK... BUT I CANNOT...I CANNOT....BECAUSE ALL HAS BEEN SET.......

M O R T U S T U I .

I CANNOT EVEN TURN BACK THE TIME WHEN WE ARE ALL TOGETHER AND HAPPY AS ONE BIG WHOLE FAMILY.

THE ONLY THING I PRAY IS THAT MY PARENTS, ESPECIALLY MY MOTHER WILL NOT BE DISHEARTED ON THIS THING AND MAKE THEM BOTH SICK AND GIVE UP ON LIFE.

WHY IS DEATH SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND?....
WHY CAN'T YOU NOT HANG ON TO ALL THAT IS DEAR TO YOU?.......
WHY CAN YOU NOT MAKE THINGS GO BETTER?.......
WHY DOES THE MESSENGER OF DEATH COMES LIKE A THIEF IN THE NIGHT?.....

I WILL SLEEP WITH TEARS IN MY EYES AND HEARTBROKEN. IT IS SO HARD TO SEE LOVE ONES JUST FADE AWAY IN THE APEX OF THEIR YOUNG LIFE............

MORTUS TUI.

posted by infraternam meam @ 4:32 AM

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