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Saturday, May 21, 2005
11 Ways to Get More of What You Want!

*** 1). Put Love First.Call your husband by a pet name or another affectionate term. Address him as Honey, Sweetie or Darling. Corny as it may sound, using terms of endearment will assure him that you love him and make him more receptive to your requests.

*** 2). Praise What Pleases.Begin by offering positive feedback. Say, "I love you when you rub my back. You always do it exactly right". Avoid saying things like, "It bothers me when you touch me there". Make sure the praise you offer outweighs the criticism. If you husband feels sexually confident, he will be more open to your suggestions.

*** 3). Start Small.Begin with a simple request that is easy for your mate to grant. Maybe you'd like him to spend more time on foreplay or kiss you more when you make love. Starting with small, nonthreatening requests will put your partner at ease and set the stage for him to be willing to listen to other wishes.

*** 4). Be Kind. Express your needs and desires gently and lovingly, not with anger or contempt. Avoid insulting your partner in any way, and mever makle comments about his anatomy. Always consider his feelings.

*** 5). Never Compare.If a former partner sent shivers down your spine, keep it to yourself. Nothing pours cold water on a good sex life like talking about a past lover, especially if the comparison to your husband is not favorable.

*** 6). Write Him a Love Letter.If there is something new you would like to try but you're too shy to discuss it, try expressing your thoughts on paper. Sedning your husband a sexy note also give hik time to consider your suggestion and think about how he wants to respond.

*** 7). Be Playful.Turn sexual sharing into a game. Say to your husband, "I'll show you how and where I like to be kissed if you'll show me what you like."

*** 8). Show Him How.Touch yourself the way you want to be touched or guide his hand. Men want to be our sexual white knights, but sometimes they can be clueless. It's up to you to understand your body and direct your partner.

*** 9). Give It Time.It may take a while for your husband to feel comfortable with some of your requests. It may take several tries before he gets a new technique right. Be patient, encouraging and understanding.

*** 10).Be Receptive.Your partner probably has his own ideas about what's exciting and fun. Let him know you want to hear what he has to say. Keep an open mind and try not to be defensive. Remember, communication works both ways.

*** 11).Lure Him Home.If you know ahead of time that you want an evening to be romantic, slip a note into his jacket pocket or briefcase before he leaves for work or tip him off by phone or e-mail during the day to start his thoughts running along the same lines. Anticipation will ignite his desire and give it time to build, making the evening more exciting.

(Abstracted from the works of: Laura Berman, Ph.D. and Jennifer Berman, M.D. with Alice Burdick Schweiger)
posted by infraternam meam @ 3:39 AM  
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Name: infraternam meam
Home: Chicago, United States
About Me: I am now at the prime of my life and have been married for the past 25 years. Sickly at times, but wants to see the elixir vita, so that I will be able to see my grandchildren from my two boys.
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