IN FRATERNAM MEAM: QUIZ: HOW PINOY ARE YOU?....by Alan Robles

IN FRATERNAM MEAM

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

QUIZ: HOW PINOY ARE YOU?....by Alan Robles

(abstracted from PILIPINAS2.0MAG)

For decades, hordes of Filipinos could'nt wait
to rush out of their country so they could become
Americans. Well, now it's the 21st century and
things are different. These days Filipinos no
longer rush out of their country just to become
Americans. They also rush off to become Germans,
or Italians or French, or Dutch or Canadians, or
Australians.

1. The U.S. promises to give your country $55 million.
Suddenly and without warning it halves this amount.
What would YOU think?
a. Why those lying, untrustworthy finks
b. Who do they think they are?
c. We should be thnakful those nice and wonderful people
gave us something at all. It must have been something
we did, we're to blame. We should be ashamed of ourselves.

2. With great power comes
a. Great responsiblity
b. Great humility
c. Great opportunities

3. My attitude to all the corruption and inefficiency
in my country's government is
a. We need to change things at once and jail all these crooks!
b. Things will get better if we pray hard enough
c. Don't worry, be happy

4. In my country the best way to pay taxes is to
a. File early
b. File on the last day
c. I's suppose to PAY taxes?

5. My country's traffic problems would be solved if only
a. Everybody follows traffice rules
b. Traffice rules were enforced
c. All the other dirvers acknowledging my superior driving skills

6. In my country, the best, most certain way to assure my loved one's
financial future and security is to
a. Work hard and get insurance
b. Win the lotto
c. Become a congressman

7. In my country, public service is
a. A noble calling
b. Innefficient
c. I don't know, I've never seen it

8. When holding a karaoke party with your friends in the
middle of the night, you should -- bearing in mind you have
neighbors sleeping-- set the volume at:
a. Soft
b. Lound
c. Homicidal

9. How many relatives do you have living in the United States?
a. None
b. Many
c. I AM in the United States

10. When going to an appointment it always pays to
a. Be early
b. Be punctual
c. Walk very, very slowly while taking deep breaths

11. My country's national drink is
a. Coke
b. Milk
c. Buko juice

12. My country's national fruit is
a. Apple
b. Mango
c. Pork

13. My favorite food seasoning is
a. Sugar
b. Salt
c. Sugar flavored salt with vinegar dressing

14. When somebody tells me that balut is boiled duck
embryo eaten as a snack, I
a. Run away with my hands in my mouth
b. Exclaim "that sounds great!"
c. Exclaim "that sounds great with salt"

15. A dog is
a. Man's best friend
b. a pest that barks all night and keeps you awake
c. A good entree

16. Drinking hard liquor is best reserved for occasions such as
a. Social gatherings
b. Going to nightclubs
c. Days of the week whose names end in "day"

17. Drinking beer is reserved for occasions such as
a. Nights out with friends
b. Before and after drinking hard liquor
c. Eating balut or a good entree

18. When I have plenty of money I immediately
a. Go to the bank and put all of it in savings
b. Go to the bank to put some of it in savings
c. Go to the bank and borrow more money so i can buy
that shiny new car and make all my neighbors envious

19. What makes you laugh most?
a. Brilliant puns and verbal gags
b. Sitcoms
c. Morons doing a skit about bowel movement over and over

20. When I hear somebody near me say "psst" I
a. Avert my gaze because I don't want trouble
b. Glare at the impolite boor making the rude noise
c. Immeidately start knocking on the roof of the vehicle
because a passenger wants to get off

21. Travelling to a foreign city, I find out that a countryman
of mine is on the run from immigration authorities, I would
NEVER think of betraying him because:
a. He's a fellow national
b. The reward isn't high enough
c. I'm also an illegal

22. Walking down the street I see an excited crowd gathering
to watch two cocks equipped with razor sahrp spikes
on their legs gore each other to a bloody death, I quickly
a. Run as fast as I can to call the Society for the Prevention
of Cruelty to Animals (SPCA)
b. Run as fast as I can to get my camera
c. Run as fast as I can to get money because white looks like a winner

23. You hear of a countryman who speaks 19 languages,
holds four doctorates and is working on cold fusion.
Without having seen him at all how would you instantly call him?
a. Brilliant
c. A credit to his ace
c. Mayabang

24. When a lunatic with a knife seizes a hostage
in your neighborhood, you
a. Go to your house and lock the door
b. Go to your house, lock the door and call the police
c. Go to your house and call all your friends
and relatives to come over and join the fun, then rush
back out to taunt the hostage taker and make faces
at the TV cameras

25. When you go abroad your luggage contains
a. A few kilos of clothing
b. A few kilos of clothing and some personal items
c. Many kilos of clothing, which you need for
wrapping around the chicharon, tusino, taba ng talangka,
bagoong and noodle packs.

26. When returning from abroad your luggage consists of
a. Smelly clothes
b. A few kinds of clothing and some personal items
c. Smelly clothes which you're wearing because you needed
the luggage space for the chocolates, cigarettes,and liquor
and don't forget the check -in TV, washing machine, stand fan
refrigerator and oh yes the $4,000 in your socks

27. When you hold a family reunion, how many people show up?
a. Four or five
b. Six or ten
c. When you say "family" do you mean I should count third cousins
twice removed, great grandnephews, half sisters, godchildren
and aunts I'd never seen in my life?

28. My country's national sport is
a. Soccer
b. Basketball
c. Pusoy

29. I have faith in my country's government because
a.I believe in our democratic system
b. I have no choice
c. I live in the US

30. I would be proud to call myself "Filipino" because
a. Of Filipino cutlture
b. Of Filipino attitude to life
c. I've already acquired American citizenship

posted by infraternam meam @ 2:13 AM

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