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Friday, October 01, 2004
(abstracted from Pilipinas Magazine article by: ALAN C. ROBLES)

"Answer the following questions, consult the chart at the bottom, add up the scores (we assume you can add) and determine your rating. This is self-adminisered test, so if you cheat you'll only be cheating yourself. Save yourself the shame!"

Test Your Philippine Education

1. Math: 1 + 1 =
..a) two
..b) Magellan
..c) sige na nga, sirit!

2. History: Magellan is
..a) the discoverer of the Philippines
..b) the national hero
..c) 1 + 1

3. Science: e=mc2 is
..a) an equation describing the equivalence of energy andmatter
..b) a garbled text message
..c) a formula for deriving the percentage a contractor hs to pay a congressman.

4. Geography: the capital of the Philippines is
..a) Manila
..b) Quezon city
..c) Washington DC

5. Economics: the country is banckrupt. The rich have lots of money, The poor have no money. Therefore the best way for government to raise funds is to:
..a) tax the poor
..b) tax the poor
..c) tax the poor

6. Political Science: If Ferdinand Marcos was a dictator and Philippines sank into poverty during his dictatorship then clearly
..a) Marcos was not a nice guy
..b) Marcos should be declared a national hero
..c) Who's Ferdinand Marcos?

7. More Political Science: the basic unit of political power in the Philippines is
..a) the peso
..b) the oligarch
..c) the goon

8. Current events: name the famous politician who was thrown out of office and is now being tried for plunder
..a) Joseph Estrada
..b) Ferdinand Marcos
..c) Ferdinand Magellan

9. Current events: Which acronym describes the most powerful entity in the country?
..a) GMA
..b) FPJ
..c) ABS-CBN

10.Current events: The president of the Philipines is
..a) a woman
..b) clueless
..c) the presidentof the United States (think about it)

11.World events: the president of the United States is
..a) George W. Bush
..b) Not at home, if you get our meaning
..c) Did you think we'd say "a moron"? you're right, A Moron

12.Arts and Culture:which of the following is the supreme expression of Philippine artistic creativity?
..a) The Pork barrel
..b) Ocho-ocho
..c) Mr. Suave

13.Computer Science: The Best operating system is the world is
..a) Counterstrike
..b) Pirated
..c) Pirated Counterstrike

14.Civics: the son of a well-know senator whose name we won't reveal, but which sounds remarkably like "Sharowsky", has 11 illegal firearms and shoots them off at a crowded city parking lot. it is clearly the duty of every citizen who was a witness to:
..a) hide
..b) claim that nothing happened
..c) ask him where he got such wonderful toys

15.More civics: whenever the Philippine national anthem is played in a movie house you should
..a) stand up respectfully
..b) stand up and dance
..c) be surprised because you are in an American movie house

16.Health education: the worst threat to public health currently facing the country is:
..a) SARS
..b) Aids
..c) Pork barrel flu

17.Home economics: which of the following should always be well-cooked?

..a) inihaw na baboy
..b) fried chicken
..c) national elections

18.Religion: The Father , the Son and
..a) the Holy Spirit
..b) the GRO
..c) the political dynasty

19.Bonus question: Why do you suppose we keep calling ourselves "we"?
..a) We write editorials for a national daily
..b) We are schizophrenic
..c) We have tapeworm

20.Bonus question: Why "We Palengke"?
..a) why not, if you have basically no qualifications at all?
..b) if that's how he wants to spend P62million who's going to stop him?
..c) sounds better than "grandson of japanese collaborator".

Give yourself 1 point for every answer which you think is correct


22 - Perfect score. If you cheated, that makes you qualifird to be a Comelec chairman

1-21 Was there something about the scoring system you don't understand?

Zero - You have self-confidence issues you need to address. either that or you're a rude, boorish oaf with a low forehead. you're probably not even a Filipino at all. You're probably the Australian foreign minister.
posted by infraternam meam @ 3:44 AM  
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Name: infraternam meam
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