| Tuesday, July 13, 2004
| WHAT IF THERE IS A VOICE MAIL IN HEAVEN!!!
|THE WHOLE WORLD NOW HAS LEARNED TO LIVE WITH VMAIL AS NECESSARY PART OF OUR LIVES. HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE IF GOD DECIDED TO INSTALL VOICE MAIL??
IMAGINE PRAYING AND HEARING THE FOLLOWING:
Thank you for calling heaven.
For English, please Press 1
For Spanish, please Press 2
For all other languages, please Press 3
YOU MAY SELECT ONE OF THE FOLLOWING OPTIONS:
Press 1 for Request
Press 2 for Thanksgiving
Press 3 for Complaints
Press 4 for all others.
I AM SORRY, ALL OF OUR ANGELS AND SAINTS ARE BUSY HELPING OTHER SINNERS RIGHT NOW. HOWEVER, YOUR PRAYER IS IMPORTANT TO US AND WE WILL ANSWER IT IN THE ORDER IT WAS RECEIVED.
PLEASE STAY ON THE THE LINE.
IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO SPEAK TO:
GOD, please press 1
JESUS, please press 2
HOLY SPIRIT, please press 3
To find the loved one that has been assigned to HEAVEN, PRESS 5 then enter his/her social security number followed by the pound sign.
(If you receive a negative response,
please hang up and dial area Code 666)
For Reservations to Heaven, please Enter JOHN followed by the numbers, 3:16.
For answers to nagging questions about Dinosaurs, Life in other Planets, please wait until you arrive in Heaven for specifics.
OUR COMPUTERS SHOWS THAT YOU HAVE ALREADY BEEN PRAYED FOR TODAY,PLEASE HANG UP AND DIAL AGAIN TOMORROW.
(sent by a friend)
|posted by infraternam meam @ 1:08 AM