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Tuesday, December 09, 2003

Last Friday 05 of December, i just came home from work, it was very cold and already 3am. my eldest son came home from visiting some of his old high school classmates since it is their winter break from school. Miki told me that he will be sleeping at home and will not be going back to his apt. since the next day--- him and his brother will fly out to Milan and will go ahead of me and my wife because she still have to work for another five days before she could leave her office and we will follow the two boys to Milan.we will then be going on a long driving to the Umbrian Hills and visit Firenze, Orvieto and Sienna--then from there we will go to Rome and fly out to Charles de Gaulle and spend some time in Paris before returning back on 22 December.

My eldest son was asking me why am I back to reading and not infront of the computer, poundng it and spreading again some informations that i wanted to share to the blogging world out there. I told my boys that i am going to stop it since it looks like there are things that i have said that did not please some sections of the bloggers and things have been said and done.

My son gave me a mini lecture. he is a good boy and very mature for his age. he was telling me that i should not have engage myself in things that is Pilipino again. he was telling me that being part of a group of pinoy is dangerous for my health. i was telling him, i did not get sick with it. my son told me and explained to me what he meant when he said "it is dangerous for my health". my son has lots of bitterness and comments about being part of pinoys activities. he was telling me that he does not meant to give offense but he said , "I FIND THEM VERY RUTHLESS, OVERACTING,SO JEALOUS AND VERY VINDICTIVE". he was telling me that that is the reason also he was so happy we live in an all white community and not Pinoy on sight. my son gave many examples and incidents that have involved the pinoy community in the greater chicagoland area. so i cannot blame him for thingking that way. i have to inculcateinto the minds of my two sons THE LOVE OF THEIR HERITAGE AND THE LOVE OF THEIR RACE.
my son told me--they have not forgotten any of those reminders and preachings from me. but they also told---you have gone to so many extent and got involved on so many things helping my kababayan and yet they said,"these very pinoys that you helped and cared for are the ones who betrayed you and stab you in the back".

My son told me to go on and contineously blog. i should be happy, now that i have detached myself from any link---i will be at peace with nobody to offend and nobody to give comments that is so harsch and so full of "deceit and intrigue".he was telling me that i dont have to be conscious of anything now. i don't have any fear of offending anybody and giving people a misconception about me and what i enter in my blogspot. my son is very right--- i am now free to say anything i want cuz i know there is nobody to be offended nor there is anybody to give her mighty word of wisdom like as if she was CONCEIVED WITHOUT SIN. my son told me, "You are not blogging for them --dad, you are doing this for yourself and it is making you happy". he was a very gentle son, he was telling me also "don't care if nobody sees or visit your blog---you have me, my brother and mom to visit your blog. can't that be enough?"

and so--- i was really touched with what my son told me. he was very right....i am what i am and nobody could change me and put me in their standard. we all have our own standard and our cross to bear on how we put up ourselves and bring about what and who we are. my son is also right when he told me the negative things about pinoys and involving to anything with any group of pinoys. i cud still hear the very word that my wife told me the other night, "don't let them crucify you with their controversial and harsh comments, we are what we are."

so now a NEW DAWN FOR ME. i will keep on blogging for myself. this time i know i cannot offend anybody cuz i am on my own.
posted by infraternam meam @ 9:23 AM  
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Name: infraternam meam
Home: Chicago, United States
About Me: I am now at the prime of my life and have been married for the past 25 years. Sickly at times, but wants to see the elixir vita, so that I will be able to see my grandchildren from my two boys.
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