IN FRATERNAM MEAM: CRAP YOU SHOULD KNOW.......

IN FRATERNAM MEAM

Monday, November 15, 2004

CRAP YOU SHOULD KNOW.......

(abstracted from MAXMAG)

1... Elephants, on average, weigh less than a whales's tongue.

2... Avoid blisters while hiking.
Spray your bare feet with anti-perspirant. They'll seat less (and blister less) and won't smell.

3... Your sweat is made up of salt, water, and urea--- the same ingredients in urine. Yes, you perspire piss.

4... Plunge into water a great height without dying ....maybe.
Hit the water feet first with legs straight(but knees not locked), hands covering your nuts, toes pointed down, and ass clenched so you don't get a 150 mph enema. After entering the water, flp your arms and legs as if you were doing a jumping jack to slow your descent.

5... "BUT I SAW IT IN A MOVIE ONCE".....
(Turns out Hollywood dirtbags lied to us about being able to perform these movie tasks.)
** Kill bad guys by firing two machine guns simultaneously.
A marksman firing pistol still needs two handd to control recoil and properly aim. Shoot an M-16 one handed and you may shot yourself.

** Hot wire a car in a minute flat
Technology ruins the fun. Many new cars use security systems that require a coded sequence embedded in the key. It's impossible to bypass, so no code, no start---no matter what.

** Crawl through air-conditioning ducts silently.
Thy're designed to carry air. Thus, you'd either get stuck, collapse the duct under your weight.

** Jimmy open a lock with your credit card
If you find a door without a jamb, deadbolt, drop bolt, or safety chain, it could work. But that's unikely.

6... The U.S. prison populationis 2,033,331. If they were all in one place, it would be the fourth largest city in America.

7... Spot a fake Gold.
Put a magnet to it. If it sticks, your booty ain't real--- iron is, magnetic, gold isn't.

8... How long a condom remains realiable in your wallet.
Change it once a week-- preferably by using it--- since body heat deteriorates the latex, increasing the chances of breakage.

9... Revive your stale potato chip.
Microwave them for 30 second and, like magic, they'll be nice and crisp.

10.. Russia is so massive that the sun sets in the western part of the country as it rises in the eastern part.

11.. A quick meat marinade.
Soak your steak overnight in bourbon and the alcohol will tenderize the meat.

12.. Countries U.S. government won't let you visit.(American Passport Holder)
Now that we love Libya, there are only two nations supposedly off-limits to U.S. tourists: Cuba and North Korea. Some Americans (journalists and aid workers) are allowed to travel to Cuba. But North Korea does not allow Americans in, period. And Iraq, by petitioning the Coalition Provisional Authority, you can go.

13.. Even a blind Chameleon will mimic the colors of its environment.

14.. An Atom bomb accidentally fell from a U.S. plane over New Mexicao in 1957. It left a crater but did not detonate.

15.. Montana is the only state without an active WWII battleship named after it.

16.. Lebanon is the only country in the Middle East without a desert.

17.. Differentiate Scotch, Bourbon and Whiskey.
Bourbon and Scotch are both whiskey.( Whiskey came from Ireland or the U.S., while Whisky is from Scotland or Canada.) Scotch is aged at least three years, and is distilled in Scotland from malted barley. Bourbon is made in America with a mach of no less than 51 percent corn, plus other grains like barley, rye and wheat, Irish Whiskey is distilled three times rather than Scotch's two. Canadian whisky,often called rye, is usually made from corn, with barley, malt and rye.

18.. What different Roses means:
White... "Congrats on your wedding day". (Not appropriate for your sister)
Pink..."Thank You, female boss".
Yellow..."We're just friends".
Dark Red... "I'm sorry for your loss".
One Red Rose... " I Love You Darling".
A Dozen red roses... "I really love you".

19.. Clean ears should be dirty.
Wax repels water, and removing it changes the acidity of the ear canal, inviting infection. If your ears are Putridflush them with hydrogen peroxide. Use Q-tips only on outer ear.

20.. Easy five ways to clean stuff.
1). Mayo will remove beer can rings on your coffee table.
2). Spread baking soda toothpaste on CDs to repair mini scratch.
3). Get out blood stain with a paste of meat tenderizer and cold water. Wait 1/2 hour, then rub and wash it off.
4). Seltzer gets rid off bird shit on your windshield.
5.) Use hair spray and a toothbruch to remove ink stains.

posted by infraternam meam @ 1:27 AM

0 Comments: