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Saturday, May 08, 2004
(sent by a friend for this sunday's Mother's Day)

we are sitting lunch one day when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of starting a family. we're taking a survey, she says half joking, " Do you think i should have a baby?" and i said, "It will change your mind"., carefully keeping my tone neutral. i know, she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations. but that is not what i meant at all. i look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. i want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes. i want to tell her that the physical wounds of childbearing will heal, but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.

i consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking , "What if that had been my child?".

that every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her.

that when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.

i look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub.

that an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop anything in her hand without a moments hesitation.

i feel that i should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood.

she might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet smell.

she will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right. i want my daughter to know that every days decisions will no longer be routine.

looking at my attractive daughter, i want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself.

that her life, now so important, will be less value to her once she has a child.

that she would give it up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years, no to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs.

i want her to know that Cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor.

my daughters realtionship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks.

i want to describe to my daughter the exhiliration of seeing your child learn to ride the bike.

i want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time. i want her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts.

my daughter's quizzical looke makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. "YOU'LL NEVER REGRET
IT". , i finally say.

then i reached across the table, squeezed my dauther's hand and offered a silent prayer for her, and me, and for all the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful callings........


posted by infraternam meam @ 2:22 AM  
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Name: infraternam meam
Home: Chicago, United States
About Me: I am now at the prime of my life and have been married for the past 25 years. Sickly at times, but wants to see the elixir vita, so that I will be able to see my grandchildren from my two boys.
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