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Tuesday, February 07, 2006
"MEN ARE DOGS". How many times have you heard that? One minute you're minding your own business, innocently checking out the waitress while your date scans the menu, and next thing you know, you've got a basket of bread dumped over your head. What's a guy supposed to do?

It's true, of course: We are like dogs. We're loud, messy, lazy. We love playing ball, tearing into a piece of meat, prowling with the gang at night, crashing on the couch. We have a soft spot for mating indiscriminately. And we hate that vacuum cleaner.

But now that it's officially the Year of the Dog,according to the Chinese calendar, it's time we embraced out canininity. Let's take a moment and see if man's best friend does'nt have a trick or two to teach us about getting along with that other person sharing our bed.

Gentlemen: Get ready to embrace your inner puppy.
Trick No. 1: Speak, boy! Speak!
Men often hesitate to tell the ones we love what's bothering us -- we spend so much time in the "discussions" she initiates that there's barely enough time to tinker with the stereo. But that's short term thinking. Over the long haul, it's not healthy to leave one party always in charge of when, and over what, you argue. If you smell trouble, brother, start barking.

Trick No 2: Mark your territory.
Look at any old couple who have "made it" and you'll see: The man pretty much does as he likes, and the woman pretty much does as she likes. But there are many paths to that happy ending. Defend whatever's important to you early on, and you'll have a smoother ride. Ask yourself; How do you secretly wish your relationship were different? You want poker night every Thursday? No shaving on the weekends? Stake your claim and on't be a martyr; it's your relationship too.

Trick No. 3: Be loyal.
You are part of a pack; don't forget that. Never agree with negative assessments of your male friends, even if it means the difference between sex and no sex. "Don't you think your friend Johnny is a little immature?" No, you don't. "Is'nt that cruddy what Phil did to his girlfriend?" You dont know; you're not a judge. Defend your boys, even in the pure privacy of pillow talk; it sends a powerful message that you stand by the ones you love even when it's irrational to do so, a sentiment that has obvious applications inside your relationship too.

Trick No. 4: Stand your ground.
Too often, men throw in the towel so they can fast-forward to the makeup sex. Who cares who wins the muddy-shoes-in-the-bedroom debate, right? Wrong! Sometimes a woman will pick a fight just to make sure you're paying attention, and if you don't call her on it, she'll start believing she's right to accuse you of whatever trumped up, overdramatized thing bugs her about you this week. Then she'll be on you like a blackmailer who smells more disposable income. You don't have to let your gal win just to get back to the game anymore. We TiVo now.

Trick No. 5: Bury the bones.
Don't hold grudges or rehash old arguments; it only keeps the relationship from moving forward. But, when leaving the past in the dust, remember where a few of the bones are buried. Women have a better memory for arguments past than men do, and this way, If she decides to raise a dead issue, you can call a statute of limitations violation. "Hey -- I don't keep bringing up the Great Pool Boy Flirtation of '02, do I?"

Good luck, see you in the doghouse!.

(Source: CHICTRIB by: Keith Blanchard)
posted by infraternam meam @ 12:17 PM  
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Name: infraternam meam
Home: Chicago, United States
About Me: I am now at the prime of my life and have been married for the past 25 years. Sickly at times, but wants to see the elixir vita, so that I will be able to see my grandchildren from my two boys.
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